Can't Walk Away - NEW POEM...& Author Commentary

Hey Everybody-

I've been working hard today on some behind-the-scene stuff, getting this book together. Every day draws me closer to the release, and believe me, I've had more and more ideas come up that will make this dream even bigger than it already is. So anyway, I know that I said that I wasn't posting any poems for a while and I like to think that I say what I mean and mean what I say, but I had a piece come in my spirit today and I had to write it out. I have thoughts about it right after, so please feel free to read and respond how you feel. This is a poem that I wrote just off the cuff, so call me out where you see fit, I'll appreciate it. Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back for more. Enjoy!

Can’t Walk Away

I told myself I’d walk away
But the possibilities called me back
Anxiously awaiting if we’d talk today
But I never got a call back
And now I sit foolish
As foolish as I was after the last love mishap
Piling regret on top of regret
Making me look as if I love mishaps
Labeling me as a heartbreak glutton
Being punished for opening up
And now hope’s doors have once again closed
So now it should be understood why my hope isn’t up

I’m like Jordan when it comes to this
One of the all-time greats
But with no knowledge of when to quit
Common sense edges out my how much I dedicate
Aiming and striving for much more
Resulting in disappointment and much more
I dusted off myself again
And now I find myself here once more
Wanting what I can’t have
Or even worse-
Wanting but not being wanted – now that’s bad!
Sharing the gift of love only to be cursed

People may look at me and call me stubborn
Saying I’m unwilling to face fact and reality
But they can’t empathize with the feeling
Can’t comprehend the love that I’ve got in me
But then again, what has it gotten me?
True, I don’t have much to show for it
But love has to be real, it’s gotta be
Which is why I’m still naïve enough to go for it
In the past I substantiated my faith in things hoped for
Still didn’t walk away
For some strange reason my doubt went back to less
Outweighed by my hope and more

Please believe that I’ve turned my back before
Took the steps to walk away
But the hope for real love called me back for more
Opted to throw my better judgment away
And now I’m back to moving mountains
Odds insurmountable at best
My faith is again declining, inviting doubt in
Looks as if I’m preparing to fail another test
As reasonable as it is for me to walk away
Chances are I probably still won’t do what is best

Author Commentary:

So I'm sure that many will assume that this poem may be about me or my own experiences. While that is true, I also wrote it in reference to the people who we see or know who, for whatever reason, refuse to walk away from seeking relationships that are not likely to happen in their favor. When I say in their favor, I mean one of two things:

1. perhaps the person is persistent in trying to be in a relationship with someone who mistreats or disrespects them

2. or maybe they admire someone who doesn't feel the same way, despite obvious expression of admiration.

Either way, it can be a difficult time for both the relationship seeker as well as those who care about that person.

The people on the outside looking in can often see the bigger picture. They are able to see that the effort that their friend is making to either keep a negative relationship open or trying to gain the affection of someone who does not have mutual feelings as a waste of time and energy. In their position it is easy for them to call out their friend and wonder why they are so blind to the facts. You know, like when you catch yourself saying "I can't believe you don't see this! It is plain as day!" The problem in this situation is that it is often so easy to give an opinion simply because they are not in the midst of the situation, which makes it even more difficult to relate or empathize as a good friend should aim to.

The relationship seeker can often be a "glutton", as I mention in the poem. Time after time they go for what they feel is the right thing, only to repeat the same cycle of disappointment. In going through these trials, the seeker is at risk for having a bad taste in their mouth about what a good relationship looks like and their potential to have one. They'll be quick to say to people, "You don't get it, you just don't understand. I'm cool!" While blame can be assessed on them for being stubborn to leaving bad situations alone, some consideration has to be given to their desire to want to establish a positive relationship. On the positive side, they are bold enough to have hope that there is a brighter day ahead. The only case that I digress is when the person is involved in an abusive (physical or mental) relationship. In that case, the last few sentences don't apply as much.

As I write this, I am asking myself what it is that encouraged me to post this blog. I think it is a combination of things, but I know that there have been times when I have been the person that is at the center of this poem. Sometimes I catch myself watching close friends in similar situations and I am able to so easily be on the other side of the table, as well. If you happen to be someone who does not have any first-hand experience with this topic, you've got all kind of media that shows this stuff in different ways (i.e. Maury Show, "He's Just Not That Into You", etc.). I'm sure that I may have missed some relevant points or counterpoints in the midst of all of this, and that's definitely where you come in. Either way, I pray that this holds some value to you in some way. Please drop me a line and share your thoughts. Thanks for visiting!

-W.A. Gordon